Every morning I pass her. On the corner of La Tijera and Manchester wondering how those coordinates dare find her. How many children does she have? Was she once a Queen in a far away land? Does her platinum hair sport mishaps of a bad color treatment or has the sun drenched her crown in attempt to activate her brain? How did she get here?
There are over 250,000 homeless people in Los Angles County. Hopeful individuals by the sheer reason, they are still alive. They carry burden, shame, pride and immeasurable pain that the average person couldn’t live a day with. I cannot pretend to know their journeys nor sympathize with their choices, I just know ALL of us has moments of weakness. Moments that quickly change to decades, if not monitored. I guess they were railroaded…blind sided…eclipsed beyond vision and breath.
Sadly, I understand this feeling. Honestly, I battle those premature thoughts. I’m not saying I’m a candidate for homelessness. I believe I’m far too resilient and loved without question…homelessness is not my form of trend. However, I suffer from doubt sometimes…like each and every one of us. I cry hard in the shower. I awake sometimes with bricks on my chest but….I keep going!
I’m writing this because I want someone to know, who needs to know, they’re not alone when crazy thoughts cross the dome of your intellect. They’re not alone when the cloud “whatever” explodes over every practical choice. When dreams fade and people vanish on the vapors that supported them. You’re not alone when love looks like a vintage gift to polish again and again as the same ole’ stories appear…”yes, I’m from NY, I’m an artist, a single mom, and….blah, blah, blah!” When you feel the difficulty to advance beyond a situation that once required little effort in your 20’s. Shit gets hard!!! Life turns corners…sharp, void of apology. Guess what!? You are normal and capable to stand up to that dreadful energy that dare pull you down…kick it’s ass!
Talk yourself out of the alley….the homelessness of despair. Call a friend. Visit nature. Sit in the dark and dream. Say to yourself over and over, “ I will succeed…I WILL succeed!” We exist together to remind each other…reflect what’s better…What’s actual! Thoughts control us either way! Drive them in the direction that benefit! Speak forward…Think forward! Please don’t abandon your residence of truth! Then and only then are you guaranteed vagrant.
Press! Release! Fly!